The Wild Blue Yonder

I am a runner. Sometimes I don't know what to do in life. I freak out inside and I run. It took me a long time to realize that tendency in my life. You have no idea how many times over the last two and a half years that I've wanted to pack up my life and run. Drive until my car ran out of gas. Then run until my legs couldn't carry me anymore. But the thing I knew I couldn't do was run. I knew I had to stay put. No matter how hard it was. So stay is what I did. I lived on a roller coaster. But I continued to sit strapped in and experience every climb to the top and every tumultuous fall that left the pit of my stomach empty and aching. So here I am- a stronger person for braving that ride. About a month ago, prompted by my best friend, I started running. In the exercise sense. It's crazy, I've begun to look forward to having it as an outlet. There are plenty of days I've ended my run with my face stained with hot tears. Sometimes with tears of surprise and joy. But all the while purging. Purging pain. Purging anger. Purging bitterness. Purging the crap from my body. Purging. And now I realize, I am actually a runner. And I'm not running away. I'm running toward something. I'm running toward health and wellness- being whole. The experience has also opened so many opportunities. It's allowed me to be confident and sure of who I am. So I say all that to say- I'm heading into the wild blue yonder. This week is my last week to work at Starbucks. It's a bit scary. I'm stepping outside of my comfort zone. My comfort circle of everything I've known for the last 4 years. I have been given an amazing opportunity to open and independent coffee shop. I had been pursued for months and kept saying no, I was scared. It couldn't work. I couldn't leave the security i had. I prayed and considered and weighed all the options and scenarios. I finally decided that it was too good of an opportunity. I also knew that in this opportunity I was moving into something new and different and exciting. I'm ready. It's been a process, but I'm excited. I'm ready to see what this chapter of my life holds. I believe that ultimately it holds greatness, because I deserve greatness. I am SO ready for greatness.